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Think Win-Win

Aktualisiert: 1. Nov. 2020

In a lot of cases you can witness people taking over a task or project and the first thing they do is verbally bash the predecessor’s actions and results. Another common behavioral scheme is people taking on opposing positions (ranging from arguing about who’s project approach is right - to trying to completely stop each other’s work). As a consultant you will be facing a lot of these behaviors. You might find yourself in situations where it seems like one party has to lose in order for the other one to win.


If we want to establish a trustful relationship with management (or any other project stakeholder) it might be necessary to look at our mindset regarding our business interactions. If you want to get what you want from management not just at the moment but also in the long run, you should consider embracing a win-win mindset.


Most people’s default mindset is “win-lose”. This is the mindset causing above behaviors. In short, the underlying belief is: For someone to win someone else must lose. In game theory the strictest version of such a system is called a zero-sum game. In this setup the winner can only win exactly as much as the loser is losing. There are quite a lot of reasons for people to have such mindset – in business as well as in life in general. To name just three examples:

  • Upbringing in an environment with very limited resources. If you have 18 siblings and there was only one loaf of bread for dinner you physically embraced the concept of win-lose (the fuller your siblings’ stomachs were – the hungrier you stayed)

  • Educational system: Quite a lot of schools and universities put competition before collaboration. Most teachers and professors are only willing to give a certain number of As. A teacher actually once told me “This would have been an A but since the distribution of grades has to fit into the bell curve and I already gave to many As this term I will have to give you a B.” I would call this an unnecessary creation of artificial “A-scarcity” supporting a win-lose mindset.

  • Messages in mainstream media: A lot of TV formats promote a “the winner takes it all” message. Watching casting or game shows the message you receive is always: Where there is a winner there must be a loser.

To make it short: Get rid of the win-lose mindset. If you want to establish healthy relationships in business think about it as a cooperative game - a non-zero-sum game. In this situation the aggregated gains and losses of the players can be greater than zero – everyone can win. For your consulting life this implies to not fight about scarce resources but instead create an environment where there are enough of them:


Do not split the cake - bake another one!


Taking it one step further, it’s important to not just not make others loose in order for you to win - the next level would be enabling others to win while you win.


For example: If you wanted to increase the number of FTEs in a department that does not necessarily mean that you must get them from another department. The approach should be to enable the creation of completely new positions. Let’s get a little more specific here: Imagine your task is to establish a new software innovation department. That must not necessarily mean a threat to the existing IT-Department. You can set it up in such a way that the existing department gets more to do since they now have more systems to support and maintain. The IT Department might therefore grow instead of shrink. It’s a question of mindset and the resulting framing of your approach.


If you think it all the way through a win-win mindset requires you to know the other’s (e.g. management’s) agenda. In order to create wins for them it is crucial to know what a win is in their point of view. A good technique is to simply ask your stakeholders: “What do you want to achieve here?”.


Since not everyone and not every organization is reflected enough to have a win-win mindset it is helpful to consciously choose where to lose. Sometimes people need to win in a win-lose scenario either for their ego or political standing. In order to be able to work with these people in the future you need to find your balance. Ask yourself:

  • What is strategically important to me? Truly fight for that even in a win-lose situation.

  • Is it worth the fight? Do not take win-win to literally. It does not mean that you have to win at everything. Choose your battles wisely since energy is limited.

  • Does the other one need the win? If something is not that important (you might not really care about the name for the new department) you sometimes might have to put on a show and pretend to fight for it in order for you to be able to give the other the “win”.

Do not get me wrong here – sometimes win-lose scenarios are inevitable (e.g. cost cutting projects or negotiations about scarce resources) and it sometimes might be necessary to make someone lose. My point is: Do not make others lose unless you consciously choose to do so. Do not make someone lose just because you assume that that's the name of the game. If your default mindset is win-win you automatically broaden your horizon and are able to identify more solution options to a challenge.


If people realize that you are also working towards them winning, they will be more likely to give you what you want and to work with you on the long run. Create a win-win mindset on a subconscious level. Especially as a consultant it is important to embrace business as a non-zero-sum game.

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